Simple Words

Its been a while…

I feel at this point its a redundant statement concerning my blogging habits.

I can’t help these things…

we’ll thats a lie. i probably could… but i just don’t want to.

You see, I spend the majority of my scholastic career in front of a computer reading, researching, analyzing, and writing nonsense that in truth just amounts to the hopes of impressing some academic elitest on my way to picking up a diploma. (wow, talk about a run-on) 

But seriously, I realize I should take more heart in my academic career but alas I can’t help if the subject matter is concluded with high-browed fodder in exasperated banter.

wow. a blog/rant on why I can’t blog/rant enough.

but really… I had a really interesting blog/rant written a couple weeks ago… and then after reading it decided I had wasted my time and decided I wouldn’t waste yours.

What was it about?
just theological nonsense. and me acting like I have the answers to all our problems.

which of course is the real fodder and banter in this whole matter.

Alas, my semester is over. 6 months to graduated status. and pardon me but that is…

hella awesome :)

now.
on to bigger things.

Accountability.
Affirmation.
Execution.

Those are the things in my life that I am dealing with.

understanding what real accountability is with myself.
affirmation in understanding not having to understand everything the Lord is doing in my life.
executing his plans when they come knocking on my door.

I feel as if i have constantly failed in these areas… and by not recognizing grace will most likely continue to do so in life.

Jacob has been the most amazing understudy with all of this.

Genesis 32:22-28 

The truth of the matter is sometimes I only see whats right in front on me and it deceives me by being a false affirmation of what will not fulfill my needs.

The deeper I sink the more I realize this is not where my soul belongs and without knowing it I cry “Abba, Father…”.

Paul calls this the soul’s ability to recognize its separation. Romans 8:14-17 

this is true accountability… and this is where things can be a huge blessing or go wrong…

justification and defiance slip in like a false relax.

thats where we have to allow God to step in and see him face-to-face.

My prayer is to see God face-to-face everyday. Its something I neglect and its easy to neglect in our society of complacency and comfortability. The character of God resides in every pain, joy, and experience we have. Its really about coming face-to-face in these situations of confusion and desperation in our search for God in all matters.

Realizing this whole life is not about our breath of an existence.

Im not perfect. Im not saying we will have all the answers..

but it’ll be one step closer to affirming “Abba, father…” and being face-to-face.